Kick day Facebook status and messages
A ‘For Sale’ sign in your yard during the holidays is like a ‘kick me’ sign. You are telling buyers you are a distressed seller.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
A jackass can kick a barn down, but it takes a carpenter to build one.
You get all excited every time you get an e-mail alert on you cell phone hoping that it might be a message on facebook.
Do you want to earn money from Facebook?
it is very simple!
Go to setting page, deactivate your account
and go out for work!
I didn’t go to the gym yesterday. But the cashier who served me at McDonalds was named Jim. So… same thing!
The longest 5 seconds in anyone’s life is waiting to press the “Skip Ad” button on YouTube!
The world would be a nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. It would get even better if some them choked on it!
Trust me, when I wake up everyday I have no plans to be awesome. It just happens…
Sometimes I wish I was a bird. So I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads!
I am strong because I am weak;
I am beautiful because I know my flaws;
I am a lover because I am a fighter;
I am fearless because I have been afraid;
I am wise because I have been foolish;
And I can laugh because I have known sadness!